Lead with Ego?

Ever notice how the same habits that stabilize recovery also stabilize your pipeline? We dig into the leadership mindset that sits beneath selling, sobriety, and self-mastery, and why the strongest credibility comes from consistency, not a job title. From the first minute, we challenge the blame game and replace it with ownership—controlling the process in sales and our actions in life—so results stop being random and start being repeatable.

We unpack emotional sobriety as a competitive edge: the ability to stay calm when deals wobble, to pause instead of panic, and to meet objections with curiosity. That shift turns pressure into empathy and fear into trust. Along the way, we show how feedback and humility create an ongoing growth loop. Coachability beats charisma, and pride isolates; the people who keep winning ask what could I have done better even when they win, then translate that insight into the next call, the next meeting, the next day sober.

You’ll hear practical standards you can apply right now: prepare before you perform, track your reps, and model the behavior you want from your team. We talk about moving from achievement to contribution—service in recovery and value in sales—and how alignment with your values attracts the right clients, mentors, and opportunities. Titles don’t lead; predictable integrity does. When you lead yourself first, you build a life and a business that others can trust.

If this resonated, share it with someone who needs a reset. Subscribe for new episodes every Friday at 4 a.m., and leave a review so more people can find the show. What’s the one habit you’ll change today to lead yourself better?

Chapters

• 0:00 Setting The Leadership Lens
• 4:00 Sales And Recovery Share A Playbook
• 8:30 Surrender And Consistency As Strategy
• 14:16 Feedback, Humility, And Coachability
• 19:06 Emotional Sobriety And Regulation
• 25:16 Trust, Empathy, And Leading From Service

Transcript

CoreyBerrier: 1:00

Welcome to the Successful Life Podcast. I'm your host, Corey Berrier. And today, folks, we're going to talk about the leadership mindset as it pertains to selling, sobriety, and self-mastery. So, leadership isn't a title, it's a decision. And let's just talk about leadership for a second. Not the kind that comes with, you know, a big name or CEO or owner or president or whatever, right? There's no title. I'm not talking about leadership that comes with a title. Uh, I'm talking about leadership when nobody else is watching. When it's just you, your thoughts, and the next hard choice that you've got to make. And, you know, leadership is it is a mindset. And here's the truth that most people miss. You know, the best leaders aren't always in the boardrooms or in the head of the office or or uh at the head of the table or ringing the NASDAQ bell. They're forged in rooms of recovery. Because leadership's not about ownership. You know, there's nothing in business that teaches you ownership like recovery. See a sales team without leadership is absolute chaos. In a life without leadership is a relapse. And in both, the goal's the same. Show up differently than you did yesterday. We know the same. Do the same thing if you do if you do the same thing expecting different results is insanity. Now, guess what? I've had a front row seat at insanity, in relationships, in recovery, in jobs, in uh friendships. Sometimes we pick people who are a lot like us. Now, in rooms of recovery, everybody's the same, right? Everybody's there for a common reason, and that is in my case, to not drink, or at least that's how it starts out, you know. The truth of the matter is when you get into recovery, the main goal is to stop drinking, right? That's the main goal. But it's all the life stuff that happens after that. And believe me, dude, life stuff is going to happen, whether you're in recovery or not. We just so happen to have uh a nice framework to go by when these things go sideways. And and so, you know, on the surface, sales and recovery, they may look worlds apart, but they're really not. You know, one's about closing deals, one's about staying alive, but the principles are almost identical. You know, in sales we say you can't control the customer, only your process. And in recovery, we say you can't control people, places, or things, only your actions. In both of those scenarios, the secret is surrender. You know, you stop trying to control the outcome and start focusing on consistency, consistency in your sales process, consistency in your recovery. And listen, if you're like me, and most salespeople are unorganized. Most people in recovery are unorganized. They don't, you know, people in recovery and salespeople don't have a lot of consistency in their lives. Now, I'm not speaking about every salesperson in the world, but as a general rule, you know, sales is sometimes an up and down game depending on what sales you're in. Recovery is a game of ups and downs. It's how you handle those ups and downs on both fronts. Depends on how successful you are. You know, a leadership mindset means that you stop blaming other people, the customer, the weather, your boss, and you start asking, what can I do to grow from this? What could I have done better? How could I have approached this differently? And that's not weakness, that's getting towards that mastery skill. Because if you don't ask for feedback, you're gonna think you're doing everything the right way. Well, I handled that wholesale the right way, and they still didn't buy. That's where the blame game comes in. You know, um, if you don't have somebody to guide you through your recovery process, you think that you're doing it right because it's you and you think that you're right about everything. I thought I was right about everything. That's why I have to check in with people. That's why you have a sales manager, that's why you have somebody in recovery that helps you. That's why you have people in recovery that you can call and say, hey, like, am I looking at this the right way? You want to stop blaming people. Like, it's not somebody else's fault that you can't get your shit together in sales or in recovery. And so, you know, the part that is has been really important in my recovery and in my leadership positions in different organizations is emotional sobriety. Now, you may or may not have heard of emotional sobriety. I'm sure you've heard of emotional intelligence. Well, emotional sobriety is kind of the same thing, right? You don't take things so personal, you don't, you know, you don't get offended when someone says something that doesn't align with what you think it should, right? Here's here's something nobody teaches in sales training. The most profitable skill you can ever learn is emotional regulation, the ability to stay calm when the deal goes sideways. Stay curious instead of being reactive. Take a pause before you panic. And that's emotional sobriety, it's the bridge between recovery and leadership, you know, when I was early in my recovery, I used to chase every emotion like it was a fire that I had to put out, and then one day I realized emotions don't need management. I don't need to manage somebody else's emotions, I need to understand their emotions and my emotions. The same way a customer doesn't need pressure, they need empathy, and when you master that mindset, you stop selling from fear and you start leading from trust. And the same thing in recovery, you stop living in fear and you start trusting yourself, and when you start trusting yourself, you start trusting other people, but it starts with you, all of it starts with you, you know. When you think about the power of humility and feedback in recovery, you learn really fast. You cannot grow if you can't be honest. I believe this is the same thing in sales. You know, the best salespeople are coachable, they don't take feedback personally, they take it professionally, and humility is a superpower in leadership. You know, if somebody says, Oh, you did a great job, fantastic, what could I have done better? The ego says, and I talk about the ego all the time because it's very familiar with the ego. The ego says, Oh, I know, I know I did good. Yeah, I know I did good, but a leader says, Teach me, and that's exactly what I'm talking about. How can I'm good or I know, I know I'm good, or how can I get better? Even if you're uh the the even if you're the CEO of the company, you can always get better, and that's what separates the top one percent of people in sales, not not personality, not product knowledge, but the willingness to put in the work to keep learning. And if recovery taught me anything, it's it's that pride isolates you, humility connects you with other people, and connection always closes in business and in life. Listen, I wouldn't survive if I didn't have the people in my life in my circle, in my recovery circle that I have. It's the most powerful thing that I have are people that I can call and say, Am I looking at this the right way? And it does take a bit of humility because they may not give you the answer that you think, and you gotta be okay with that, you gotta be okay with getting feedback, and if you get good feedback, ask what you could have done better, and there's always something that you can do better, you got to lead yourself first, you know. You you can't lead a team if you can't show them a model of what they need to be doing. If you're the sales manager or the service manager at a company, you can't be a good leader by telling people what to do. You've got to, you know, you want to be able to show them, you want to be able to model for them how it should be done. You know, you can't lead a customer if you don't listen to them, and you sure as hell can't lead others if you can't lead yourself, you know. Leadership mindset starts with daily habits. Do you show up to the meeting on time? Do you practice honesty in every area of your life? What standards are you setting when nobody else is watching? You know, it's one thing to do things when you're in front of people. But if you're a different person when you're out of the office or out of the rooms or, you know, uh away from everybody, then you're living in a double life. And I'm telling you firsthand, I've tried that and it doesn't work. Because people don't they don't follow what you say, they follow who you are and what you stand for. You know, in in recovery, I had to learn how to show up when I didn't feel like it. And in sales, it's exactly the same thing. It's just like when I go to the gym and lift weights, I'm building muscle through reps. Leadership is exactly the same thing. You're not always gonna get it right, but you got to get up and try again. In recovery, it's the same way. You know, there are not a lot of people that go show up for a recovery program and get it right the first time. In fact, most people don't. And if they would have stopped after that first relapse, their lives would be completely destroyed. Thank God that didn't happen for me. And thank God I got back up as painful as it was, and I'm not tooting my own horn, I was just in enough pain, I didn't want to go through it anymore. And that was my driving force. I didn't want any more of what I was getting, so I had to do something different, and I couldn't lead myself when that happened. All I could do is get up and show up, and sometimes in sales, you just have to show up. That's half the battle. You know, if you don't rise to the occasion, you fall to the level of your own preparation. If you're not prepared for your day, you're gonna you're gonna show up less than what you could. If I don't prepare for this podcast, it's gonna be all over the place. Do you know how I realized that? Because I did it the other way for so long, and the download sucked. And I would go back, and I still go back and listen to this podcast. I will go back and listen to this one after it's over. Because I want to understand how do I sound? How are my voice inflections? Do I sound like a dickhead? Do I sound humble? Do I sound like I would want to listen to me? And I'm harder on myself, probably, than anybody else could ever be. But I want to make sure that I'm putting out the best possible podcast that I can put out. You know, at some point as a leader, your mindset shifts from achievement to contribution. You know, you start realizing that you know the mission is not just about your numbers, it's about the impact that you get to make. And in recovery, we call that service, in sales, we call it value, and both mean exactly the same thing, which is putting people first. You know, there are times when I don't want to go to a meeting, but I go. There are times when the phone rings that I don't want to answer it, but I answer it. Because maybe somebody on the other line needs to have a conversation, and maybe they are just calling to check in. But most of the time, the second that I think to myself, I don't want to pick up this phone, that's when that person needs me the most. Or maybe they're going through something that I've been through in the past. You know, it's just like in sales when when you do finish a sale and that you know that this person's gonna benefit from what you've sold them, it's a good feeling. You know, it's not it's uh it's an empty feeling when you just sell something to the something to be selling it, and you should be ashamed if that's what you're doing. You know, and I really don't care what you sell. You know, if you don't genuinely want to help people, they feel it. They feel it. I mean, look, there you we hear the old adage, a used car salesman. When you pull up on the lot and you're driving a minivan, and the guy's like, hey, I got a brand new Porsche over here, and you're like, dude, I gotta I'm driving a minivan with fruit loops all over it. He's like, Yeah, but this Porsche is right up your alley, it's exactly what you need, Mr. Customer. You're like, Who is this idiot? Who is this idiot? Does he have zero awareness? Can he not pick up on anything? Clearly not. All he cares about is selling you that Porsche, he didn't even think to stop to ask you a question, right? And that's you know, if you may be showing up the same way in your business or in your recovery, you know, if you're trying to solve one of your sponsees' problems and that's not even their problem, they understand that you really don't care about them. All you care about is talking or trying to figure something out for them that they don't even care about. It's the same thing. So, you know, the best leaders don't sell products, they sell the belief, they sell the they transfer their energy into the customer and show people what's possible. You know, the leadership mindset isn't a one-time thing, it's a daily discipline, and every day you either you choose to stay teachable, every day you choose gratitude over ego, every day you show up on time prepared and humble. That's what builds credibility, not your title. Who gives a shit about your title? Nobody gives a shit about your title but you. You know, people that are humble and prepared and show up on time and gratitude over ego, they don't even tell you what their title is. Hell, I know owners that won't even tell the customer they're the owner because they just want to be seen as another guy on the team. That's real humility. That's real humility. Because then that customer doesn't get watered down by the title of that individual, and that's you know, that's really cool when that happens. You know, leadership in sales and recovery is about becoming predictable in your integrity. People should know when you say something that you mean it because leadership isn't about being perfect, it's about being consistent. And the most consistent thing you can do is show up for yourself every damn day. You know, there's a freedom in leadership. When I finally got sober mentally, emotionally, spiritually, I realized leadership wasn't about control, it was about alignment, alignment with a purpose, alignment with my honesty, alignment with my values, and when you're aligned, the right deals, people, and opportunities show up. And that's what that's what a leadership mindset really is showing up with clarity, humility, and heart, and in recovery and in business. Because when you lead yourself first, the rest of life falls into place. And I'm gonna leave you I'm gonna leave you with that today. I appreciate you listening and uh share this with somebody that you think might need it. Subscribe to the podcast, leave us a review, it always helps. And truly, I'm grateful that you listen every week to the show. Like it really makes my day to know that other people actually want to listen to something I have to say, because I can tell you for years people didn't give a shit what I said, and I don't blame them because I showed up with a bunch of ego, a bunch of selfishness, and I wasn't humble at all. And don't get me wrong, I sometimes even get into ego now for sure. But my goal is to recognize that lead myself and course correct as quickly as I see that. So I appreciate you guys. We drop this podcast every Friday morning at 4 a.m. We'll see you guys next week. I appreciate you listening, and we'll see you next week.