Breaking the Chain

Ever wonder why you keep falling into the same relationship patterns? Or why certain childhood memories still sting decades later? The truth might be uncomfortable: you're living out scripts handed down by your parents—scripts they inherited from their parents before them.

This episode dives deep into the generational patterns that shape our lives without our permission or awareness. As your host Corey Berrier reveals his personal journey, you'll recognize how childhood experiences before age seven program your subconscious mind, creating protective masks that once saved you but now suffocate your authentic self. Whether you became the overachiever, the people-pleaser, or the tough guy, these adaptations create a fracture between who you truly are and who you believe you must be to survive.

The wake-up call comes when you notice the maddening repetition in your life—different partners but same fights, different jobs but same problems. That's not coincidence; it's your inherited script running on autopilot. But here's the empowering truth: what you inherit isn't your destiny. By making the unconscious conscious, taking responsibility without blame, and establishing daily practices that anchor you through life's storms, you can break free from these patterns. The healing journey isn't about becoming someone new—it's about becoming who you were before the masks.

Ready to put down the generational burdens you never asked to carry? Ready to hold the pen that rewrites your story? This episode offers both the compassionate understanding and practical wisdom to help you break the chain and finally live authentically. Your inherited past doesn't have to determine your future. Subscribe, leave a review, and share with someone who needs this message—because freedom begins when we recognize the chains we didn't know we were wearing.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome: Parental Lies and Your Story
• 4:20 Childhood Masks and Broken Tools
• 6:18 Repeating Patterns and Wake-up Calls
• 8:47 Healing and Taking Responsibility
• 11:37 Breaking Generational Chains for Freedom
• 14:40 Challenge and Podcast Closing

Transcript

Corey Berrier: 1:00

Welcome to the Successful Life Podcast. I'm your host, Corey Berrier. And today's episode is about how your parents lied to you and you're still living their story. My parents lied to me, and yours probably did too. And not because they were bad people. You know, they didn't wake up one morning and say, let's screw up our kids' lives. No, they just handed down what was handed to them. But here's the thing. I believe those lies. Lies about who I was, what I was worth, what I had to do to be loved. And those lies shaped the way I lived my life for decades. And some of those lies weren't even words. They were silences or looks. They were the tension in the air when I walked into the room. And I carried those lies into adulthood like chains I didn't even know were there. You know, when you were a kid, especially under seven, your brain is like a sponge. You soak up everything. My parents' words became my truth. My parents' actions became my script. And I played it out without ever asking if it was true. I grew up thinking, be strong, don't cry. You don't need anybody. And that was the lie. And I carried that like a badge, but inside it was killing me. I'll never forget it. Walking into the house, not hearing a word, but feeling everything. You know what I mean? That tension, that uneasiness. The walls don't have to talk. The energy already tells the story. And that became normal for me. So normal that later in life, when I felt that same tension in relationships, I thought this must be what love is like. Familiar isn't always healthy. You know, and as kids, we we wore masks. We wore masks to survive the atmosphere we were in. Hell, I built masks. My masks were being in a an overachiever. If I could perform, if I could prove myself, maybe I'd finally be enough. And for some people, it's the pleaser. For others, it's the tough guy or disappearing into the background. But here's the thing those masks protect you as a kid, but they suffocate you as an adult. They did exactly what they knew to do. But I had to face the truth. They handed me broken tools. And if I kept using them, I was gonna keep building a broken life. And the fracture starts there between who I really was and who I thought I had to be. And unless you deal with that fracture, you spend your whole life bleeding out from it. And that's why you keep repeating the same story. That's why I kept repeating the same story. I kept ending up in the same situations with the new faces, different partners, same fights, different jobs, same problems. It wasn't the world, it was me. But I was stuck in a pattern. And if you're honest, you've seen it too. The day, the deja vu moments where you think, not again. No, that's the script that's running your life. An egomaniac with an inferiority complex is what a lot of people call that. I lived in extremes on the outside. I acted strong. On the inside, I was, I felt worthless. I was what they call an egomaniac with an inferiority complex. So on the outside, I looked big and tough, but on the inside, I was really scared. And I had to keep proving myself because I didn't believe I was enough. And that's what drove me to overcompensate with people, with work, with alcohol, especially. I thought if I could control everything, people, situations, outcomes, I'd finally feel safe. But the more I tried to control, the more shit I lost. You know, you could only hold up the mask for as long or for so long before it cracks. And mine cracked, everything collapsed. My relationships, my career, my sense of self. And I just couldn't pretend anymore. And that was the wake-up call. I mean, collapse feels like death when you're in it, but looking back, it was really the doorway to a new life. And my wake-up call was realizing that my way wasn't working. I was running on autopilot, and autopilot was driving me straight into the ground. So here's the question I had to face. And the one that I'll ask you. If nothing changes, where will you be 10 years from now? And is that really where you want to end up? The answer was no for me. So I had to stop and meet that kid inside of me, the one that I'd been ignoring and shaming and hiding from. And when I finally pictured that kid, I saw his eyes, his fear, and I finally said, I've got you. You're safe. And that's when the healing started for me. And this is deep work. This is a deep conversation. You know, I had shadows of rage and shame and grief that I pretended weren't there, but they were running the show. Carl Jung said, until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life, and you will call it fate. Well, I called it fate for years, but it wasn't fate. It was my shadow. Facing it didn't destroy me, it freed me. You know, it wasn't my fault what happened to me as a kid. But it was my responsibility to heal that. And that's the turning point. Blame kept me stuck. Responsibility gave me power. I just talked about this on the last episode, being responsible for your life. It was the it was like the it was like I had keys in my pocket the whole time. I just didn't know it. And my life changed when I stopped waiting for a miracle and started building a rhythm in my life with meetings and prayer and meditation in my gratitude list that I send out every morning. At first, it it felt like a lot of work, but those daily disciplines now are anchors in my life. And when it and when that storm hits, because they always hit, those anchors keep me steady. And I like being steady. I don't like when the storm hits things going nuts. You know, you can break the cycle and live a free life. You know, nobody's coming to save you. Nobody came to save me. When I needed safety, I set boundaries. And when I say boundaries, meaning I set boundaries that protect me, not my boundaries that protect you. When I need encouragement, I celebrate progress, not perfection. When I needed love, I gave it to myself. And that's really healing that child within while being an adult. And you can also break those generational train uh chains. You know, if I hadn't have healed and still healing, I was gonna pass the same pain down because kids don't copy what we say, they copy what we do. So I had to ask, am I handing down my wounds or my healing? Well, the truth is, when I was raising my stepdaughter, I handed down the same wounds that were handed to me. That's a hard pill to swallow. So if you're a parent, how are you parenting? Are you parenting like your parents parented you? Probably. Is that the most effective thing? Probably not. You know, healing isn't about becoming someone new, it's about becoming who you were before the masks. When I stopped hiding, relationships deepened. When I stopped pretending peace showed up, when I stopped lying to myself, I felt whole. You know, authenticity is a word that gets thrown around a lot these days, but authenticity means when I walk into every room, I'm the same dude. No masks, no fear, it's just me. And so here's where here's where it all lands. You know, what story will you choose from here? You know, the patterns that you inherited are powerful, but they're not permanent. And the moment you choose awareness, the you change the story. The moment you choose responsibility, you reclaim your power. The moment you choose authenticity, you walk free. So picture this behind you are generations of pain. Ahead of you are generations of possibility, and in your hands is the pen that you can rewrite the story. It stops here, it stops with you, it stops with me, because the moment you break the pattern is the moment that you can finally begin to live free. And I don't know about you, but that was what I was looking for. I was tired of the masks, I was tired of the same story playing out in every relationship, every job, every friendship. If you look back on your life, you probably have the same things playing out year after year. And until you break those generational chains, you are gonna keep playing out that same story over and over and over. And it's exhausting, it's exhausting wearing a different mask for every single person that you know, it's exhausting wearing a mask and having to switch it out and lie and keep up with those lies. So, what I would challenge you to do today is look at what mask you're wearing, and you can change that today. You don't need to wait till tomorrow. You can do it today. So I appreciate you guys listening. We'll see you next Friday. Please do me a favor, leave us a review, subscribe to the podcast, make sure you share this with somebody else that you think could benefit from it. And we'll see you next Friday.