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Successful Life Podcast
Self-Improvement Podcast for Contractors that want to learn about how to grow their business through management and marketing. Develop business ideas to improve your business experience and be successful. Real stories from real business owners.
Successful Life Podcast
From Struggles to Strength: Laura Kelly’s Inspiring Growth Story
What if you could transform your life's challenges into stepping stones for success? This episode of the Successful Life Podcast promises to unveil the secrets to doing just that with the help of our extraordinary guest, Laura Kelly. Laura's journey from Ireland to the United States is packed with lessons on relationships, personal growth, and maintaining a winning mindset. As she shares her powerful growth acronym, you'll gain actionable insights that are sure to resonate both personally and professionally. Her recent social media post, addressing the reality of mental health struggles, serves as a poignant reminder of the courage it takes to be vulnerable and the strength found in doing so.
We delve into crucial discussions on recognizing and managing personal challenges like bipolar disorder, alcoholism, and anxiety. Laura and I explore the importance of self-awareness and how it leads to effective treatment and a more fulfilling life. You'll learn valuable strategies for improving your "say-do" ratio and prioritizing self-care, setting the stage for overcoming hardships. Hear firsthand about the excitement and trepidation of attending life-changing self-improvement events and the transformative power they hold.
From navigating the fine line between not drinking and true sobriety to embracing spirituality and prayer for inner wisdom, this episode covers it all. We wrap up with a deep dive into the concept of living in the "gain" rather than the "gap," inspired by Benjamin Hardy and Dan Sullivan's book, "The Gap and the Gain." Laura and I share personal anecdotes and practical advice that underscore the importance of gratitude and delegating tasks to the right people. Tune in for an inspiring conversation that promises to guide you toward a more successful and fulfilling life.
https://www.growwithclover.com
https://www.audible.com/pd/9-Simple-Steps-to-Sell-More-ht-Audiobook/B0D4SJYD4Q?source_code=ASSORAP0511160006&share_location=library_overflow
https://www.amazon.com/Simple-Steps-Sell-More-Stereotypes-ebook/dp/B0BRNSFYG6/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1OSB7HX6FQMHS&keywords=corey+berrier&qid=1674232549&sprefix=%2Caps%2C93&sr=8-1
https://bit.ly/4bFz4yc https://www.housecallpro.com/successullife
https://www.facebook.com/corey.berrier
https://www.linkedin.com/in/coreysalescoach/
Welcome to the Successful Life Podcast. I'm your host, Corey Barrier, and I'm here with Laura Kelly. How's it going?
Speaker 2:It's going good. It's going good. It's always refreshing to come onto a podcast where I could tell immediately, when you welcome me on, that your desire is to just cut past all the BS and just get straight through, get straight to the essence of the of. You know the guest. Yeah, and yeah, I'd love to. I'd love to hear how you want to kick this off.
Speaker 2:We were, we were just chatting about relationships, the quality of relationships, how to, how to um relationships, the quality of relationships, how to, how to um endure the good times while setting yourself up to, to, to relish in the in the in you know, the prosperous good times. But, uh, I, I plan to share kind of um, my uh, an acronym today called the growth acronym, um, that I have to share and it's essentially the, the essence of what has allowed some of the most successful people in my life, um, us and other people I know that are ethically winning in life, in various aspects of their life, um, and I'm happy to jump into that acronym. Or, if you have a plan for where you want to take this podcast, I honor that and you let me know.
Speaker 1:So most people probably know who you are, but if they don't, I'd love for you just to give a quick bio of who Laura Kelly is, and then I would love to jump into that. But I also want to shift back to what we were discussing before the show about perspective, because you have a different perspective. You've recently just done a post that I think I want to talk about because I think it's important for people to hear from people like you about that perspective, because lots of times people think they understand what a person's going through, but they really have absolutely no idea yeah, no, I'd be, I'd be honored to talk about that.
Speaker 2:Um, yeah, so. So so who I am? Uh, my name is laura kelly. Uh, came to the united states as laura mccarthy. Um, I started my journey on the East Coast with. I won various awards in college for how to, for helping individuals optimize their performance, taking a person who was well, who had the desire to be great and have them become great. But I didn't understand marketing. I had no idea how to market myself. I had no idea how to market my business. Everything was word of mouth and I figured this could dry up. So I'm going to come to the States and understand marketing mouth and I figured this could dry up. So I'm going to come to the States and understand marketing.
Speaker 2:Amid my journey, I ran into Josh Kelly. Um and uh, within a very short period of time, he said you're not going home. Like we're getting married, I love you, you're staying here. And I didn't want to. I thought he was a total nut. I loved him, but I thought that statement was nuts. Like I was like there's no way I'm I'm going home to Ireland. Like I think I'm thinking about this big traditional wedding where my family know the person I'm going to get married for years and I was more traditional. I was traditional in in how I wanted to start my family. I guess, um, but uh, when you meet the right person, you you know. I always say to people it's important to make exceptions for the exceptional and I felt like he was worth the exception and we got married within like eight months and myself and his father really hit it off fast and if anybody knows their story, they grew a home service company from six and a half million to this year they'll do 250. And there was a lot of people coming to them saying how did you grow a home service company with in one market, with no funding privately? How do you do that? How did you do that? And he was still in the day to day so he pushed myself, he pushed me into starting Clover with Josh so we could help other people. Kind of, what I was able to bring to the table is how people navigate through their quirks which stop them from being optimal, and Josh obviously had all the ins and outs of how to run a home service company and we started Clover almost five years ago now and it's been a very fulfilling journey.
Speaker 2:It's been testing in a great way and I've inherited wild perspectives, like. One perspective I've inherited is it's so easy to continually it's. I've learned this about winners they tend to always feel like they're failing. Um and uh to that perspective that that perspective drives us. Um, but if you have the awareness that many winners share that perspective, you can check yourself and be more objective about, like your reality and like, no, I'm not failing. I have a whole host of great things in my life. Um, but tapping into that perspective, while having that help, while being, while having a healthy lens around what's real and what isn't, can, um allow you to get the most from yourself, while you know not remaining, not like beating, being too hard on yourself. Um, so, uh, yeah, one of the many perspectives I pulled from from from clover, which I guess pulls us back to perspective, and I'm happy to uh to speak about what I shared the other day. Um, thank you for giving me the chance and, yeah, I wish mental health was something people felt more comfortable sharing about, because it's hard.
Speaker 2:It's even hard for me, like. I posted that one post and I felt very aligned about it. I posted another post and I'm like shit, that was a bit like heavy. Do I really need to do that? And it's for me it was important to go back to Doing what made me feel aligned. And what makes me feel aligned is, um, helping others.
Speaker 2:But what also makes me feel aligned is knowing others. What also makes me feel aligned is knowing others are seeing me securely, um, and what there's a common misconception around just because you have mental health challenges or just because you're comfortable being vulnerable, does not mean you're not tough and does not mean you're weak. And I believe that is a big reason why people don't share their mental health challenges and don't share the challenges that they encounter because they're afraid of the perception that one can hold about them. And honestly, I don't blame people for that, because some people do hold that perception, because they believe themselves that if they share it's weak. So when others share, they see them as weak, not always, but certainly at times.
Speaker 2:So what motivated me to start opening up about the fact that I struggle with anxiety and depression is I think there's a beauty in knowing the human part of a person. Like a person sees a person accomplish X, y or Z, and they many assume that this person has their shit figured out and you can still have your shit figured out and have normal struggles, whether that's depression, whether that's anxiety, whether that's divorce, whether that's your kids are teenagers and they're driving you insane. There's like struggle is a normal part of human existence, and I think it's. I believe it's something that every human shares, and if we could, if we could use that to find common ground amid the separation that exists, it would allow for much more genuine and sincere connection. So so, yeah, I feel passionate about stepping into that vulnerability, in in the way, in in in a way that makes me feel as comfortable as I possibly can feel. Yeah, I hope that helps.
Speaker 1:It does. You know, I think the reason people and you said this, it's fear. It's fear of the perception of what people are going to think or are they going to. You mentioned this. I think you mentioned this in the post. Are they going to do business with me or they're going to stop doing business with me? And really that's just our own thoughts. That really isn't necessarily the perspective that other people share. We just think that that's the perspective that they share. Really, it's really the way I look at it. It's really really none of my business If somebody has a perspective about me that's different than who I am. I don't want that. But I can't really change that because your perception of me is your reality, whatever that is, and I I don't know that I can do anything about that. I don't know that I can change that, other than just being honest and telling the truth and what what allowed you to have such a mature perspective?
Speaker 1:Well, I've been through some hard shit, you know, I I stopped drinking 15 years ago but then I started smoking weed about seven years ago and through that whole process it's like I got, you know, I joined a recovery program and I won't mention what that is, but people can figure that out on their own and I got all the things, I got all the promises back. I had been remarried and then I started smoking weed and got away from that program and what happened was I slowly bled myself of all the things that I had gained, bled myself of all the things that I had gained. And so there's a perspective of being, you know, court ordered into a rehab facility. That was like I you know it wasn't prison, but it damn sure felt like it and the perspective of watching everything slowly bleed out, or now watch, or now looking back, I should say, and seeing how all these things bled out, and right in front of my face. And I was just too egotistical to realize it was the weed that was causing. You know, really it was my spiritual connection which was disconnected, which was being caused by the weed, so on and so forth. And so I've, just I've had to pull myself out of some really hard times.
Speaker 1:And when you mentioned anxiety and depression, it's like you get trapped in this place and you just don't know what to do. You're afraid to reach out, you're afraid to ask for help and you're just stuck. And if you don't have somebody that you can talk to and lots of times it wouldn't be Josh, because you're afraid of what he might think. Even and you know, one of the things that I value the most about my current my relationship that I'm in now is that we started out, we laid everything on the table and when I say everything, we laid everything on the table. And this is what you get. And this is what you get.
Speaker 1:And my girlfriend has bipolar disorder, which scared the living daylights out of me when she first told me. I'm like holy cow, I can't get involved with this, because my perspective was skewed by the things that I've heard, but I didn't really know what that meant until one day by. We were just talking and she said, oh, yeah, this is what that means. We were friends. And she just said, yeah, this is how this affected me and I'm like Jesus, that's nothing like what I thought. I thought you're a nut job. And she wasn't a nut job. She just. There's a chemical chemical imbalance, just like me with my alcoholism or whatever the case may be. It's a chemical imbalance and if it's treated, all those things work just like normal people right. Not treated is when things don't work that way well, she is and has been in treatment for that for several years successfully.
Speaker 2:So there's something that you've alluded to there that is, I think, anyone enhancing. Oh, my microphone changed. Can you still hear me?
Speaker 2:yeah, you sound good um, the key to anyone enhancing is that awareness, like there's not any one of us that don't have some sort of a freaking challenge, whether that's alcoholism, whether that's bipolar, whether that's depression, whether that's anxiety, whether that's a crazy ex-husband, a crazy ex-wife, whatever it is Um, or it's it's um, it's having awareness around what the thing is. So, so, so, so that you can do something about it. For instance, to your point you mentioned about your, your, your partner. She has bipolar yes, she has the capacity and to feel and be normal um, and at one point, through most probable hardship, she was forced to inherit, inherent, inherit awareness to do something about it to you. You know, you had to lose some good things in your life to realize that you had to change um. I believe that you don't have to lose everything good to inherit that inherit, inherit that awareness, um. But I believe and I like challenge everybody that there's an awareness aspect of you that you either lack or you know that.
Speaker 2:If you don't channel your excuse, my language, f thought um, I, I say that with uh, I. I say that because I, I believe we all, we all have our challenges and if we don't tap into the awareness of those challenges and put things in place to mitigate against the hardship that they will inevitably cause us. You are literally saying, yeah, give me more struggle, give me a lot more struggle and unnecessary hardship, and it's sometimes really difficult to overcome the conversation in your head where it's like I can have one more drink, or I don't really need a workout, or I'm gonna do this thing that I know was not that really that good for me, but I'll get away with it this time. It's so easy to fall into that trap, and something I've been working on is improving my say-do ratio. So the things that I say I'm going to do, I do, and it's amazing how that changes your subconscious around how much you value yourself, um, and you're proving to yourself that you genuinely are prioritizing yourself and you know it's it's. Once you start to prioritize yourself and do the things that you know are good for you, everything in your life starts to become better. Everything in your life starts to become better, and I always caution people around following exactly what this expert told you worked for them. Instead, tap into awareness and find out what works best for you and trust that, because if you don't trust, if you can't trust yourself, it's, it's, it's, it's a very disempowering place to live, um, because you're consistently looking to external factors to gain validation. Um, so, uh, um and yeah, when you lean into, it's really hard to start trusting yourself because that inner voice is just gone.
Speaker 2:You know, I've had, over the course of my anxiety and depression, struggles. I found it easy to feel this anxious, tension, headache and want a drink. And then I and then I have to in that moment, realize that if I have that drink, I'm going to be, and for me I was able to just have one drink. I know not everyone's that way, but I was able to just have that one drink. But need to have a drink to get rid of my anxiety. Headache is kind of unhealthy, and then I would. Then I had to look, then I would, then I would find myself that evening with my kids tired because alcohol doesn't help our energy.
Speaker 2:Um and uh, I just thought I was like I don't. I just don't want to be self. I don't want to be. I don't want to be selfish. I don't want to be selfish. I don't want to be selfish. I don't want to be remembered as selfish. I don't want to be remembered as a person who had no energy for their kids in the evening, go to the places we don't want to go. Um, and that's tough. Like I don't know why I have this, but I have this hunger to get over my shit. Like we're going to Tony Robbins for six days in December and I'm jazzed like I can't fucking wait. And Josh is like six days, oh my gosh, like six days, and he's, he's coming with, he want, he booked, like he did this for me, he wants to come, he wants to do it, but he's dreading it. I'm jazzed about it Cause I know when I get I get over my shit, how better I can be for me and everybody else Is it David Destiny.
Speaker 2:Yeah, david Destiny.
Speaker 1:I haven't been to it, but, dude, it's got to. It's going to be amazing.
Speaker 2:I, it's going to be amazing, I can't wait, I can't, I can't wait, I, I, uh, I. I remember I did one, uh, one of his, one of his um seminars, awake in the diamond, and it was virtual and I really focused on my anxiety and overcoming it. Um, and now I'm at a place the more educated I become that like trying to trying to um, trying to ignore a feeling or an emotion, in fact exasperates that feeling. Uh. So instead of telling them, instead of saying oh, I'm not, I'm not anxious, I'm not anxious, I'm not anxious, I'm not anxious, what that does is, in fact, exasperates the anxiousness, or I'm not sad, I'm not depressed, I don't want I, whatever it is, um, in fact exasperates that emotion. So I'm very I, whatever it is, in fact exasperates that emotion.
Speaker 2:So I'm very curious how my journey will look this time, where I'm not going to say I'm not anxious. In fact, I'm going to explore what being the most optimal version of myself, alongside anxiety and depression, what that journey can look like for me. Maybe it's something that I can just speak to with memory you know what I mean like I can advise people from a place of yeah, I know what that feels like, but maybe it will always be part of who I am, um, and I just handle it better because I, because I number one, I have the perspective and, as best I can, I choose to do the things that I know. If I don't do, everything around me is not as good.
Speaker 1:So interesting there, lauren. You said you know you basically say keeping your promises to yourself and what I think for me that does. If I go say, if I set out to let's use the ice bath as an example yeah, I say I'm going to get in the ice bath in the morning. If I don't do that, I'm starting myself out with a lie that day and my confidence is going to be less than it would be if I just do the thing that I said I would do and as a good example of doing something extremely hard in the morning, because there's nothing fun about getting in 35 degree water Wow.
Speaker 1:But after you get out, you've overcome something that most folks won't even attempt to do, and there's a level of confidence that comes with that. I believe that sets my whole day up for success, Because there's nothing going to be that hard.
Speaker 2:I have a question for you. I used to get motivated by doing things that I know other people won't do, absolutely. But it doesn't motivate me anymore and I kind of hate that Because it helps me. So I do ice baths, but I don't do it at 35 um. I think that's amazing, the um. And there used to be a place amid my growth, amid my journey, where I'd be like I. I got a thrill out of doing things that I knew other people weren't willing to do, like an ice bath. But I don't know why I don't have that thrill anymore. I don't know. I, I, I, I.
Speaker 1:I.
Speaker 2:I'm more. I'm more now, like I'm more. I guess I'm more focused on self, in a way that I'm like is this going to? Is this going to better me today? Um, and I, perhaps I've learned that lesson, with just reflection here.
Speaker 2:Perhaps I've learned that lesson because I it's so easy to to to try and do all the things that cause you to be optimal, when you need to just figure out the one or two things that, if you do, makes everything else better. It's like the Pareto principle. You know what are the one or two things that if I do this morning will make my whole day better. And there's no world. Well, there is a world.
Speaker 2:I don't think it's smart to do all the things like some people swear by gratitude journaling, some people swear by ice baths. Some people swear by exercising. Some people swear by affirmation, some people swear by I don't know all sorts of meditation. I don't think there's. I don't think it's optimal to do everything. Um, but experimenting with the 20, the 20 percent that contribute to you having a successful day and an optimal day, and do it and just because you love yourself enough, doing those things and just committing to those things and promising yourself you're going to show up for yourself in those two minor ways and the rest of the day will just flow some more.
Speaker 1:But it kind of goes back to perspective. You know, if somebody's the folks that are listening to this, they've never done an ice bath. I think those two people are crazy for getting in a freezing cold ice bath. Our perspective is it's just part of the daily routine.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, right, and that's I guess that's something that I always try to, I try to always monitor is like I do all this stuff that many would maybe consider crazy. How do I encourage another to be open to doing some of this crazy stuff when to them it's just freaking nuts, like it's, it's bizarre, it's not something they ever they'd ever want to, you know, endure? How do you tap into, how into, how do you, how do you um, remain remain relatable so that, so that others want to try and do the things that make them better? Um, I believe it's just showing up consistently and how your life, how you, your life, ends up to shape out, to be a bit better, and people gain inspiration from the journey. I think that's the most sustained way of having influence. But what are your thoughts?
Speaker 1:Well, sharing the struggle is really like you know. So you and I can sit here and talk about doing the ice bath and breeze over it, but if we really explain the mentality it took to get in that ice bath the first time, how many times you walked up to it and said I just I don't want to do it? Or you paced back and forth, or for me, I would just find something else I needed to do and prolong it. And if we talk, I think if we talk about the process it took us to get there, is where people can identify. They can identify with looking at an ice bath is right, freezing. I can't. I can't get in the ice bath. I said the same thing until I did it. Yeah, like walking on fire at tony rock. I said the same thing.
Speaker 1:I've done twice and there's something about that. That happens where you're like what just happened? How did I just get through that? Like I'm the same person. It's like I was listening to a book last night. It said don't believe everything. You think what money means to them. You're going to get a hundred different perspectives and the money doesn't change. It's still a dollar bill or whatever bill. The actual thing doesn't change. It's just the perspective of well, money's bad or money's good, or greed or whatever it is. And if we can sit back and think, well, who is it we're trying to encourage to do this and talk about it from their perspective? We've been right where you are and this is how I felt during that time this is what I did, to move to the next step, which is sometimes that's very interesting.
Speaker 2:That's very interesting. Um, I think that there's uh, there's a lot of power in that because, yeah, like to go back to you know my posts I was like do I want it, do I? I? I do believe that if I continue to be vulnerable, it's going to help people out, but am I willing to be that vulnerable and that's something that's I want to say yes, what do you have to say?
Speaker 2:You know, as much work as I've done on myself, I still hold on to the fear of judgment, I believe, yeah, and the fear of being misperceived.
Speaker 2:Of judgment, I believe, yeah, um, and the fear of being misperceived, uh, and I, and and meaning, I know I have anxiety and depression, but I also know I'm tough, capable and I'm going to achieve some great shit, because I won't. You know that's, that's just part of who I am and who I want to be and what I want to model to my daughter, and it's so, I think, to your question, what I'm afraid to lose I'm afraid to lose, yeah, I'm afraid that I will alter the narrative that people hold about me, which you mentioned something at the very start of this podcast. You tend to not really care about what people think about you and I and this journey. Amid all the things I have grown in and worked on, I still clearly put weight in other people's opinion of me, um, and I think there's um, there's great, there's uh. I think that's the next part of my journey. The next part of my growth journey is removing, removing the concern I have around other people's opinions yeah, I wouldn't say that I don't care what other people think.
Speaker 1:I just I have to look at it objectively that whatever someone else thinks is, you know, it's their opinion. It's like an asshole Everybody's got one. Yeah and likely. I don't know if I could change that or not, but there are. You know, I don't want to seem like a martyr, because I do care what people think. I just care less than I used to care.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's awesome.
Speaker 1:It eats up a ton of energy, worrying about how people are going to perceive the things that I say or do, or whatever that may be. I'll give you a great example. My sponsor reached out to me not long ago. I'm in the process of writing a book which is on hold and it's called Alcohol is the Solution. And he said in one of your things you said you know you haven't had a drink in 15 years. I said you're right. I said what's wrong with that? He said well, you only been sober for 18 months. I said I didn't say I've been sober for 15 years. I said I hadn't drank for 15 years. It ate my lunch because I. I didn't want him to think that I was trying to have people because I wasn't trying to have people, but it's his perception of so say, say that once more so, so, so, so you share, so share that with me once more.
Speaker 2:I missed a nuance there.
Speaker 1:Sorry. So there's a difference in being sober and not drinking. There's a big, big, big difference.
Speaker 2:Oh, interesting, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Being sober and being in recovery means that you have a plan, that you're working towards me is working the steps I'm helping other people. I have people that I get called, that I speak to every day, that are in let's just say earlier in sobriety than me, that I'm their mentor, so to speak. We call it sponsor, yeah, and so I have one of those people that I reach out to, a sponsor, and so I have one of those people that I reach out to, and his perception was that I was leading people to believe that I had been sober for 15 years. But that's not what I said. I said I haven't had a, which is true. I haven't had a drink in 15 years. That doesn't change because I haven't been sober for 15 years. It doesn't change the fact that I haven't drank in 15 years, right. But his perception was well, how are people going to perceive that If you said you haven't drank in 15 years? I said, well, that's not really my problem. No, it's true how they perceive it.
Speaker 1:I know what I said and we had a pretty, you know, we had a good discussion about it and I wouldn't want to lead people to believe that I've been sober for 15 years. But it doesn't change the fact that my story is I haven't drank in 15 years, right, and I'm very open about why I haven't been sober for 15 years. I'm very open about the fact that I smoked weed for seven years. I'm very, very open about it Like it's part of the story. And so when I put that down and started to experience true sobriety, where I didn't have that escape, it was hard at first because I did have that escape with weed and now I just get to face life on life's terms. I don't have an outlet to alter how I feel. You know what I mean and it's really freeing to be able to sit here and say that. And it doesn't make me better than anybody else. It just means that this is the path that I took.
Speaker 2:How, how did you, how, how, how can, how can you describe the feeling of being, you know, when you're on a substance of whatever kind and you just feel cut off from, like, your intuitive knowing, like you're? That inner voice is just it's's, it's difficult to tap into, um, describe, describe to me or or to even listeners here. How do you get back to kind of tuning into, like I believe our greatest wisdom lies within we? We typically, for the most part, know what's best for ourselves if we can be aligned. What is that? What is that? How would you describe that process? How do you, how do you become intimately connected with your inner wisdom, your inner voice, your intuition, your spirituality?
Speaker 1:because I think they're all. For me, it's prayer. It's prayer and removing my ego from the scenario. Because, ultimately, if I think I know better than if I think you know, prior to me getting sober, I couldn't trust myself because I didn't make great decisions. Not because I was necessarily in an altered state, because I was relying on me for all of my decisions and I'm not the smartest person in the world.
Speaker 1:I don't have all the answers. If I rely on myself, I'm limiting myself to the knowledge that I have. I'm not opening myself up to a bigger, higher power, so to speak God, whatever it is you want to call it, and there's infinite wisdom there that I don't have. So if I think I have all the answers, I'm going to stay in this circle of the limited knowledge that I have, and I don't want to do that. I want to grow outside of that. The only way I know to do that is to tap into my spirituality.
Speaker 1:I'll tell you one other thing, eckhart Tolle the power of now. So there's one thing that I have not been very good at, which is being present, and I've learned how to be present over the last 12 or 18 months, and there's a real power in that, because you know we have so many distractions in our lives, whether it be your kid or your phone or whatever it may be and to be able to just sit and be present and listen actively listen to what someone's saying without figuring out what you're going to say next. There's a power in that, because people will tell you exactly what they want, but you just have to be patient enough to listen and not think you have all the answers for me anyway.
Speaker 2:No, it's so true.
Speaker 1:And that book has really done. I mean, it's changed the way I look at things. It's changed. There's no telling how much stuff I've missed in my life because I was thinking about what I have to do tomorrow or what happened yesterday. And none of that matters, because really the present, like tomorrow, never gets here. It's always now, we're always now.
Speaker 1:This sign that he talks about in one of his books says there'll be in a pub, says free beer tomorrow, but tomorrow never gets here. So it's a funny sign because tomorrow it's always today. Right, we don't know what's going to happen. We don't know what's going to happen. We don't know what's going to happen tonight. We have absolutely no idea. And if you think about getting really terrible health news which happens all the time to people, that are unexpected, that is unexpected. How would the things that are so important today, how would those things change if you got news that you had 90 days to live or less, all those things that we stress out about or we've got to get done, a lot of that stuff would just go away because it wouldn't matter.
Speaker 2:For sure, and it's bad, but it loops everything back to perspective. Um, I, I, it's so, so pivotal to have perspective amid life in general. If you have a hard, bloody day, all right, I'm healthy, my family are healthy, and just laugh at the bloody thing. Um, perspective is that, perspective is everything and and I, I, I, uh I made a post about this yesterday if you feel like you're uh, if you feel like your mindset's not right, remove yourself from the situation and and and do something that can cause you to adjust.
Speaker 2:For me, it's commonly exercising getting into my body. It forces you to get out of your head, but what that allows for, then, is a new perspective, so that when you enter a thing, whether that's leading your team, whether that's having dinner with your spouse, whether that's with your kids, if you are entertaining this, if your self-talk is not conducive and not overly positive, what that tells me is your perspective of the moment is not optimal. And if I were you as a listener, I would encourage you to ask yourself to be excused from the situation and just check yourself, because there's only one thing wrong, and it's your perspective. When you change your, your perspective, you can put two, you can put two people in the same situation and how they see it can be entirely different. And there's nothing different about it.
Speaker 2:It's just a perspective, um, and uh, people say, you know, your self-talk is super important. Your self-talk is super important, um, but it still all comes back to is my perspective a healthy one right now? And I think that could be a powerful question for us all to ask ourselves. Is this, um, am I living in a healthy perspective right now about how I think about work, about how I think about my spouse, about how I think about my family? And if not, why not? And challenge it and then realign and from there, everything will be better.
Speaker 1:This is all growth. You mentioned the acronym growth. I don't know that you meant necessarily like this, but you mentioned that earlier. So this is all growth, what we're talking about, understanding, awareness perspectives. So let's switch gears into the growth acronym. Isn't that what you said earlier?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll make it actionable for people. That's hung out with us for this long. So, yeah, so I've spoke with a lot of successful people and there's a few things that they share. Successful people and they there's a few things that they share, um, and there's a few things that when I know I'm at my best, I I share, um, I'll pull it up here.
Speaker 2:So the first thing is uh, the first thing is is gap and gain. So there's a great book called the gap in the game and um, the, the gap, the. Essentially, we can all measure ourselves against either how far we have to go or how far we've come, and there's um, there's. You're either you're either in the gap or in the gain, and the gap is where you focus on what's missing and the gain is where you focus on how far you've come and if you live in the, how far you've come, perspective and mentality. What's been proven is that you end up getting a whole lot more done because your perspective is healthier. The self-talk, the energy that you're possessing is healthier. So I challenge anyone listening what I've learned from very, very, very successful people is living, live in the game, not the gap. Um, acknowledge how far you've come versus versus, where you have to go, and in doing that, you'll possess the self-confidence necessary to keep going forward. Um, so that's gap in the game. Um, which is is Benjamin.
Speaker 1:Hardy right Dr Benjamin Hardy.
Speaker 2:Dr Benjamin Hardy, yeah, and Dan Sullivan. Powerful book, honestly, an enjoyable listen or a read. It's powerful. So, or is right? People, I get this book.
Speaker 2:I get this idea from a book called who, not how. It's the. Our biggest problem is that we're asking ourselves how and not who. When you find the who, they take care of the how, um, and so, whatever I say this to people often what is the one thing that, if removed in your life, would make everything else easier or unnecessary? I would ask yourself who is a who? I could task with X that could remove it from my life, and then you no longer have to worry about the how Been huge for almost everybody.
Speaker 2:I know that's uh, successful, and what I define successful is happy, fulfilled amid the journey of accomplishment, um, so, um, uh, oh is uh, openly sharing your gratitude. So this is obviously one that you, corey, certainly practice. For those listening, what Corey does every day is he actually? I'd love you to describe it, because I described it to somebody. I don't think I've done it justice. Could you describe that? That actual practice? I think it's madly powerful. I've seen what your, the practice that I, you've had me engage in, which I want you to explain has changed the course of some of my relationships. It's been powerful. I'd love you to kind of explain it real quick.
Speaker 1:Sure. So I send out a gratitude list every day and I think about when I'm writing that gratitude list, the things that I am grateful for in my life, and sometimes it's big things, sometimes it's just waking up and drinking coffee with Maddie. Sometimes it's things like I'm grateful for the pain that I went through with my last marriage. The pain that I went through with my last marriage I'm grateful for, because if I look at things from a gratitude standpoint every day at the beginning of the day, then it really sets my day up for thinking that way all day, because I'm not naturally a grateful person.
Speaker 1:I was ungrateful for a really long time, really selfish, and and it's I do that. I do that because it kind of lets me to. It kind of allows me to say things that are important to me that maybe other people can identify with and they're very personal to me lots of times and I share that because I hope that it helps somebody else start their day out with gratitude. Maybe just seeing the word gratitude would make someone think what do I have to be grateful for will make someone think what do I have to be grateful for, right?
Speaker 2:right, there's a great quote by Eckhart Tolle, and it's acknowledging the good that you already have in your life as the foundation for all abundance. If you can't acknowledge that, it's right back to living in the gap, not the gain. I learned this concept around how to like an even more powerful way to exasperate gratitude, and I think one of them is sharing gratitude like what you do, so, so, so, like he literally texts it, he texts his gratitude list to people. So you're sharing sometimes that, sometimes the people that you're grateful for, you're, you're I would encourage you to so so, for, for, for, for, for Corey, he texts the things and then, uh, for me, I know, I text, I text them, I text that list to the people I'm good, I've been grateful for, and it, you know, and it facilitates a nice connection. Um, but, uh, for anyone who struggles with experiencing gratitude, um, if you think about the thing, if you think about things, you're, you're, you're semi-grateful for, even semi. If you can't tap into that real deep gratitude and you think about losing it, it exasperates the big goodness out of that, out of that feeling, and then, once you can start getting into the habit of experiencing and feeling gratitude, it becomes easier to start to see things all around you that you're grateful for. It is like a muscle. It's like going to the gym. You know, at first it's hard and it gets easier. Same thing with gratitude, and I found that when I've been in like my lower points and I haven't been able to tap into gratitude when I knew it's so much around me to be grateful for, that's the joys of feeling depressed. Sometimes it's like you objectively know everything around you is great and you just can't feel it. A way to feel it is to think about what it would be like to not have that thing and it exasperates how you feel. So the O here is openly sharing your gratitude. I really, really encourage you to share, tell people you're grateful for them and be specific as to why. Versus just generic it's just like. It's just like the, the it's just like. Back to that book how to Win Friends and Influence People. If you give a person a generic compliment, it doesn't mean as much, but if you give a person a sincere and authentic compliment, it means. It means a lot. Combining that with with gratitude, you will take a connection to a whole other level. It's a great thing for your spouse. I know it's helped josh feel very much appreciated and respected. Um, so I encourage people listening to give that a try.
Speaker 2:Um, the who uh is who you surround yourself with. It's I. It's an we've all heard this. You're the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Show me your friends and I'll show you your future. It is so true, uh.
Speaker 2:If you're a contractor listening to this, if you're wherever you are, really assess the five people that you talk to the most and are they? Do they inspire you to be better? Do they push you to be better? Because if not, you are actively choosing to slow down your growth. Agreed, um, uh, t is take action with integrity. Um, maintaining a high say-do ratio where your actions match your words is such a, is such a efficient way to build trust and respect for yourself and for your. The people that you lead to respect you too, because they know you're a man or a woman of your word. Um, uh, maintain a high say do ratio. This one um, for some reason, uh tends to uh be quite shifting for people. Uh, and and and. It's called hundreds of small wins. So what I found amid um, especially in Clover I talked to.
Speaker 2:I've spoke to thousands of contractors at this point, and when you speak to thousands of people about a similar topic, you start to identify trends, and a trend that I've seen be just so wildly apparent, like hitting me in the face hard, is that the people who really win, the people who build very successful businesses, high revenue, high profit. People love following them. Things are good, they they set hundreds of small goals like they don't, but they don't set hundreds of them. They set they. They don't go out. So, for instance, my father in law did not ever say he wanted to be a 250 million dollar contractor. When he was six and a half million, he focused on getting to seven and a half million. When he was seven and a half million, he focused on getting it to eight and a half million. And what happened is he had this $250 million company.
Speaker 2:The people that come to me or us and say I'm one million and I want to be 50 in. I want to be 50 in as soon as I possibly can Uh, it's um, and that's their, that's their goal, and they don't have small, tangible, achievable goals that they could wrap their arms around um and and and visualize um tend to be those that don't hit their goals. So there's this common phrase where it's like you know, shoot for the moon. If you don't hit the moon, at least you land on the stars. That mentality, I found, is actually bogus.
Speaker 2:The most successful contractors and the most successful people in general but I see it so apparent in the home service space is the contractors that when they were six and a half million, they wanted to get to seven and a half. When they were six and a half million, they wanted to get to seven and a half. When they were seven and a half, they wanted to get to eight and a half. Um, it wasn't those that had this big, huge, audacious goal of I want to be 250 million or I want to be the biggest contractor in the united states, uh, and I, I. You know you can tie that same thing back to working out. Instead of saying you want to be at 10 body fat, instead say if you're, you want to get to 30. Um, or if you want to lose weight, instead of saying I want to lose 20 pounds, just focus on losing one pound tomorrow, because you could control that. Um, so it's just been such an apparent theme that, uh, I I feel compelled to share it with people. We spent uh, um, uh um.
Speaker 2:Some of there you might know these names tom boyce, dave geiger, paul kelly. They're some of the biggest contractors in the space humble, genuine dudes, and they all, uh, rusty corcoran, some really big contractors that are clients of ours, and we invited them to come back, to come to ireland with us last september and I just it just proved it to me over. It proved it to me again how they about anything, how they think about golf is the same thing. They just think about what is one thing they can improve, and then they reset and they set another one, and they reset and they set another one. They're always resetting and setting another goal, but the goal they set is super small and achievable, and then there's just hundreds of them which allow them to hit their big, audacious accomplishments. And then there's just hundreds of them which allow them to hit their big, audacious accomplishments.
Speaker 2:So my challenge to you is, if you're listening to this, if you have this big goal, just break it down into something actionable, something tangible, something that you can bite off and just watch what happens. Once you get there Reset and that momentum feels good, and that's that, that's. That's that's the growth acronym. And G gain over gap. R right people, not just the how Openly share your gratitude W who you surround yourself with. T take action with integrity meaning having a high say-do ratio. And H hundreds of small wins.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because if you set a big goal that is ultimately unattainable, it there's something that does to your mind. When you don't get anywhere near that, almost to a degree of well, I might as well just give up because I'm never going to get there, and that's not healthy. It's not a not a positive way to go about trying to hit any goal. But I think you're right. Small, obtainable goal, right. Get in the ice bath for 30 seconds, if that's what it is. Go run for a quarter of a mile. If you've not been running, you don't need to go run a marathon. You just need to run a little bit more than you did yesterday.
Speaker 2:That's it Exactly, exactly. All we can really do is control each day, and if we can control each day and make the best choices we can, it makes it easier to control tomorrow, because you've got this newfound belief and confidence in yourself. Um yeah, hopefully that was helpful yeah, well, this has been.
Speaker 1:I really I really appreciate you coming on today and and sharing about the things that you have. This has been such a really deep, powerful conversation. I really appreciate it.
Speaker 2:I appreciate you, buddy. Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1:You got it. Thank you so much, oh, by the way, where can people find you?
Speaker 2:Sorry, oh yeah, if you're in the home server space and you want to grow more, enjoy more growth, enjoy more profit and enjoy your life and business more, that is what we specialize in, that is what we do and we've been able to help hundreds of people over the last five years and it's one of my favorite things to do. And, if that interests, you, find us at growwithclovercom wwwgrowwithclovercom and there'll be a form there and you can fill it out. You can request to speak to anyone on the team that you want to speak to. If that's me, cool, if that's Josh, cool, and we'll be there. We'll make the time to talk to you and figure out how we can help you to move forward in the most fulfilling way.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much, laura, appreciate.
