Addiction is the solution, Not the problem

Have you ever considered that your nightly social media binge might be more than just a habit? It's time for a heart-to-heart as I, Corey Berrier, peel back the layers on the deceptively comforting world of addictions, revealing how they can disguise themselves as harmless routines. I'll take you through my own story of recovery, shedding light on how addictions, from the digital to the sugary, serve as stand-ins for the deeper issues we're often afraid to face. Together, we'll grapple with the notion that our constant scrolling and snacking might not be as innocent as they seem, potentially robbing us of the vibrant lives we deserve.

Then, we'll shift gears and talk about the power of living with intention. This isn't about grand gestures but about the everyday choices that define us and our impact on the world. I'll share a moving tale from within the recovery community, a stark reminder of the preciousness of life and the importance of gratitude and purpose. By the end of our conversation, you'll be inspired to let go of the illusion of control, trust your gut, and step into a more authentic and meaningful existence that celebrates our collective triumphs. Join me on this transformative journey, and let's walk the path to self-improvement together.

Chapters

• 0:57 Addiction
• 15:49 Wake Up, Make a Difference
• 24:18 Life-Changing Advice for Self-Improvement

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:57

Welcome to the Successful Life Podcast. I'm your host, corey Barrier, and today we're going to dive into a little bit different conversation than what we've been talking about. So a lot of people know that I'm in recovery and have been in recovery for quite some time, and so I want to talk about how. Alcohol is the solution, not the problem. The problem is life. The problem is what you do on a day-to-day basis. That's really where the problem lies. The problem lies within yourself. The problem lies within the actions you take, the decisions you make and the outcomes of those decisions and actions. Now, when I stopped drinking years ago, I thought alcohol was the problem, but alcohol is not. I thought alcohol was the problem, but alcohol is not.

Speaker 1: 2:00

Alcohol and other substances are the solution to the problems that you have in life. They're the solution to not feeling the pain of whatever it is you're going through and you may be in a cycle of addiction. Personally, you may know someone who's in a cycle of addiction, and it's one of those things that is really hard to understand if you're not in, if you've never experienced any sort of addiction, but I would argue that you have experienced some sort of addiction. Let me explain. So it's not always just alcohol, it's not always just cocaine or pot or whatever pills. It's not just that. Addiction comes in many different forms, and I would argue that everybody is addicted in some shape, form or fashion to something that feeds a need or feeds some sort of endorphin in your body. Here's what I mean. Maybe you struggle with food, maybe you struggle with anger, maybe you struggle with the feeling of needing to be with someone else all the time. Maybe you struggle with constantly watching TikTok or Facebook or Instagram or whatever it may be. I would argue that everybody has some sort of coping mechanism that would be described as addiction, because think about this, let's just take a social media platform, tiktok, in particular. So how many times have you caught yourself scrolling through TikTok or scrolling through Facebook or scrolling through Instagram aimlessly for an hour, two hours, and you look up and you're like, oh my God, what? What have I done? I like I've done nothing for the last two hours. I was supposed to get this done, that done, and it's those two hours are gone. Well, there's a reason for that, not necessarily your fault, but whatever you are supposed to be doing.

Speaker 1: 4:29

While it may have been important, the dopamine hit that you get from looking at social media, living your life, potentially through other people's lives, watching videos about how great people are doing or how terrible they're doing, feeds a sense of it feeds a sense of I'm actually losing the word here it feeds something in your body, it feeds some sort of, it fills a void, so to speak. That's really what I was trying to say, and if you're not aware of these things, it can easily take over your life, can easily. You can lose hours a day, hours and hours a month, hours and hours a year. And if you do the calculation, hey, let's just take, let's say, you waste an hour on social media every single day. If you waste an hour on social media every single day, that's 365 hours a year. And if I just do the quick math on that, 365 hours a year is approximately. Let's just see here 365 times 60 minutes, that's 21,900 minutes a year that you lose. That's pretty astronomical.

Speaker 1: 6:20

And so when we think about these, addictions are the solution. They're not the problem. But many people want to pick out and say, oh, you know, alcohol was my problem, or you know women, that was my problem, problem. Or or you know women, that was my problem. I couldn't help myself but to cheat on my wife, or I couldn't help myself but to sleep with 14 women last week. Whatever it may be, all that's doing, all you're doing in that situation is you're avoiding your life, your life. You're avoiding what you're supposed to be doing because it's too painful to move forward on, it's too painful to face the reality of your current circumstances. And look, your life circumstances do not determine how your life is. I mean, think about in this very moment, right now, right, this very second, you don't have any problems. Right this very second. You may have problems 10 minutes from now, you may have had problems 10 minutes ago, but right, this very second, you don't have a problem.

Speaker 1: 7:41

And here's the thing. We distract ourselves with all kinds of different things Again, whether it be social media, whether it be food, whether it be going on a strict diet, whether it be, you know, hammering it out in the gym for three hours a day, whether it be getting in a cold plunge, whether it be, you know, hammering it out in the gym for three hours a day, whether it be getting in a cold plunge, whether it be, you know it could be healthy things that become unhealthy. Because if your focus is on these things that make you feel good in a time when maybe you should be focused on something else. You're just feeling a void. You know, I know people that go from relationship to relationship with very little pause in between that relationship, and the reason is likely you're not happy with yourself. Likely there's something in your life that you don't appreciate, there's something in your life that you don't want to look at. None of this is probably very hard to hear right now, but this is the truth of the matter.

Speaker 1: 9:01

If you're failing in your business, if you're failing in your marriage, if you're failing in your relationships, or maybe failing with your relationship with your kids, look at what do you feel your life with. Does it work? Because you can 100% be addicted to work. 100% be addicted to work. You can 100% be addicted to recovery, in a sense that you avoid what you're supposed to be doing on a daily basis by going to work and working 12 or 14 hours a day, or going to three or four meetings a day, when the reality is you're not checking your mail, you're not paying your bills, you're not taking care of what you should be taking care of on a daily basis. You may not be cleaning your house. All of these things come with addiction, and so addiction is the solution.

Speaker 1: 9:59

Being addicted to something is a solution to avoid a problem that you've got, and I'm speaking from my own experience here. I've fallen into all these traps, I get it, and I'm no different than you. We all put our pants on the same way. And guess what? I'm prone to addiction just as much as you are, maybe more prone, and so being aware of that helps me stay present, helps me stay doing the things that I need to do when they're uncomfortable. Even if I don't want to go and get in that ice bath every day, I do it because I know the result of that is I'm going to feel better that day. Maybe I don't want to go and look at this god-awful bill that I think is in the mail, so I just don't go check the mailbox. That's ridiculous. That's your own mind telling you there's a problem when you haven't even gotten to the mailbox.

Speaker 1: 11:10

These sound like really simple things potentially, but ask yourself in your own life, where do these things affect you? Are you addicted to being pissed off all the time, because that is an addiction. Are you addicted to being a people pleaser. That's also an addiction. You name it. There's a lot of things in life that we are addicted to, and I would just ask you to reflect back today and think about what it is. What do you use as a crutch? What do you use as an escape? And likely, it's some of these things that I've mentioned. Now, a lot of these things are far more destructive than others. Now we'll take alcohol and drugs for an example.

Speaker 1: 11:54

You know, when your life becomes unmanageable because you are distracting yourself with drugs and alcohol, what's the end result for that? Well, I can tell you I've been there. It's not good. It's not good at all. In fact, it is a whole bunch of stuff you've got to clean up after all that time of avoidance. It's relationships, it's bills, it's I mean, there's a whole host of things that come with avoiding what you're supposed to be doing by filling that void with some sort of addiction, that void with some sort of addiction.

Speaker 1: 12:40

And you know, look, a lot of people say, oh, you know, there's. These people are so in love. Well, are they in love, or are they addicted to the feeling that the other person gives them? Are they addicted to the? You know, if you think about somebody who is in a new relationship, right, everything is so great. What happens? You get blinded by that feeling of someone wanting you, that feeling of being wanted, that feeling of interconnectedness that you have now with this new relationship and lots of times. What happens with that and this is why we say don't get in relationships early in recoveries we will put that feeling, that massive rush of endorphins of that new relationship before the things in life that we need to be doing. And what happens later down the road is you know, those endorphins wear off. You know you often hear people say well, after you get married, things change. Well, the reason they change is because those endorphins are not the same anymore.

Speaker 1: 13:54

You can't get into a relationship and expect it to be, you know, rainbows and skittles from now until the end of time. That's a ridiculous expectation. And it's a ridiculous expectation to watch these videos on TikTok or Instagram or Facebook and think I should be that person, I should live their life, because you shouldn't live their life, you should live your own life. And sometimes our lives are hard to see that way. But you've got to be aware. You've got to look at what's holding you back. Is it selfishness? Is it selfishness, self-centeredness, um, is it ego? I just talked about ego last week. Your ego is not your amigo and it can prevent you from moving forward in life. And maybe that ego, that egoic mind that you've obtained in this relationship per se, is you become one, right? You feed off of one another and you get in a habit loop. That's exactly what happens. And then you just think, well, life is supposed to be this way. I can put up with this as long as I get this, or I can deal with that as long as I continue to get the other thing. And it's not really a trade-off, right? If you're in a relationship, it should be a mutual understanding, just like in sales. There should be a mutual agreement, just like in sales. There should be a mutual agreement moving forward. And if there's not a mutual agreement moving forward, then you've got to figure out why that is.

Speaker 1: 16:18

But you don't want to sacrifice your moral compass just so you're with someone who makes you feel good, because guess what, it's not who makes you feel good? Because guess what, it's not all about just feeling good. It's about making a difference in the world. It's about making a difference in other people's lives. It's about being an example to someone else.

Speaker 1: 16:42

You never know who's looking at you when, and we've all done stuff in the past that we're not proud of. We've all made mistakes. We've all done things or have skeletons in the closet, so to speak. And if you think that you don't have skeletons in the closet, you are full of shit, and it is what it is. I'm not here to make you feel good. I'm not here to pump you up and say you're going to do great when you're doing absolutely nothing with your life.

Speaker 1: 17:20

You need to wake up. You need to think about these things, because here's the thing you may look 10 years down the road from now and realize if I would have just made one different decision, I could be in a totally different spot. But guess what? That'll be in the past, and you will still be in the now and with those same problems of 10 years ago, probably a lot more. So the solution is whatever it is you're filling that void with, but it's not the problem. You're the problem, I was the problem, and so when you figure out in life that it's not just about you, that's when you can change things, because it's not just about you. It's about other people, it's about building relationships. It's about making the world a better place, and if you're not interested in doing that, then great, you probably aren't listening to this show.

Speaker 1: 18:22

But if you are interested in making an impact, if you are interested in making a difference in the world, take a look inside or take a look in the mirror first and ask yourself am I really doing the things that I'm proud of? If I ask myself 24 hours, 24 days, 24 years from now, was this the right decision? You're going to have to reverse engineer that conversation, and I talked about this a few shows ago. If you've got a food addiction, is your body going to thank you 24 hours from now if you eat that plate of donuts or that plate of whatever, or are you going to look back and say I really wish I hadn't done that? Is your body going to thank you today if you get high before you go to work? No, probably not, because when that day comes that you get fired, you're going to look back and say I probably shouldn't have got high before I went to work and so play the tape all the way through.

Speaker 1: 19:28

Think these things through, because if you don't, the price becomes heavier and heavier and you may pull out of it. You likely will pull out of it, but don't bank on that, because a lot of people don't pull out of it. A lot of people die of diabetes and heart attacks and alcoholism and drug overdose and I see this in the recovery community. One day I may be standing in a circle holding hands saying the serenity prayer and the next day that guy beside of me may be dead, and that's exactly what happened with me may be dead, and that's exactly what happened with me. I remember being in a recovery meeting, I don't know, six months ago, let's call it, and I didn't know this guy all that well. I knew his name blah blah blah and the next day they found him, overdosed, dead in a hotel room. And that will jar your world because you were just holding that human being's hand the night before in that circle. I want you to think about that.

Speaker 1: 20:39

We don't have a single second promised to us. We don't have a single second. We don't know what is going to happen at the end of the day. There's a lot of people that went to bed last night and didn't wake up this morning. That was not their plan. There's a lot of people that got in their car. After seeing their family this morning kissing their kids goodbye, kissing their wife, goodbye. They got on Interstate 40 and had a car accident and died, and maybe it wasn't even their fault. So you just don't know when that time is going to come. So be grateful for what you have. Be grateful for the people in your life. Be grateful for what you have. Be grateful for the people in your life. Be grateful for waking up six feet above ground today.

Speaker 1: 21:30

Your life circumstances may not be great. It has nothing to do with your life, your heart's beating. You don't even have to think about that. Look, a lot of people play the victim mindset. A lot of people say, oh, woe is me, but guess what? Life doesn't happen to you, life happens for you, and the sooner you can get your head around that mindset, the sooner you're going to live a better life, a more successful life.

Speaker 1: 22:01

I mean, listen, when I stopped trying to control how the outcome was going to be, the outcome turned out way better. And that's just me being completely honest with you. When I let go of the result, my life got better. Every day my life gets better that I take my hands off the wheel and let somebody else drive. Now I'm not saying be a wet doormat. I'm not saying let people run all over you. That's not what I'm saying at all. But you got to stop.

Speaker 1: 22:36

For me, I had to stop trying to control other people. I had to try to stop trying to control how my circumstances were going to change, because I can't control that. All I can do is what I'm supposed to do right this very second. And if that means I need to go you know, go to a meeting and not do something else, then that's what I need to do. But God gave us an intuition for a reason. We have a gut feeling. That feeling inside of your stomach when things don't feel right is a real thing.

Speaker 1: 23:19

Ask yourself how does this show today make you feel? Do you feel it in your show today make you feel? Do you feel it in your gut? Do you feel what I'm saying to you? Are you hearing the words that are coming out of my mouth and is it triggering a thought or is it triggering a feeling in your stomach? Because if it is, you need to listen to that. You need to look back at these things that I discussed today and you need to think about how these things affect your life. How much time are you spending on social media? How much are you drinking? How much are you smoking weed? Are you secretly taking pills that nobody knows about? How could you change your life today for the better? And I know this is heavy stuff, but at the end of the day, my goal here is to provide some value for you so that way you have a better and more successful life.

Speaker 1: 24:18

And so go back and listen to this. Go back and just really listen and think about the things that I've talked about today, because this could change the entire trajectory of your existence. Unless you're too egoic to look at these things, maybe you think well, you know, corey, these things don't apply to me, bullshit, they apply to everybody. Everybody has a vice of some sort shape, form or fashion, whether it be sugar, whether it be social media, whether it be whatever. Right Could be golf, for all I know, could be anything right could be golf, for all I know, could be anything disguised as disguised, as you know, this is just what I do disguised as just just just one of those things in life that I'm going to be dealing with, or I enjoy these things, or whatever that may be, and so my goal for you is to really think about these things. Really think about how you can change the trajectory of your life.

Speaker 1: 25:30

Go back and listen to the show. Go back and make sure that you look at these things, because here's what I can promise you If you look back at these things, you will have a better life, you'll have a more successful life, and I want you to have that and you want to have that. So, if you would do me a favor, just look inward today, look in the mirror and ask yourself what can I do different today to improve my life? And after you do that, make sure you leave me a five star review, because that's how we grow. We're almost at a million downloads and I really, jesus, can't thank you enough for that, and I appreciate each and every one of you, and we'll see you next week.